Erica Mena seems to be living her own version of Groundhog Day. If you’re not familiar, that’s a 90s movie about a guy who keeps reliving the same day. So, how does this relate to Erica? She’s often caught up in drama, and her relationships seem to follow the same chaotic patterns. Many think that she could avoid a lot of the turmoil if she just paid attention to the red flags constantly popping up.
To really understand how Erica handles relationships, we need to go way back. Why? Because studies show that our upbringing and childhood experiences play a huge role in our adult relationships.
Erica was born on November 8, 1987, to a Puerto Rican mother and a Dominican father. She shared with Vlad TV that her mom gave birth to her while in prison. During her mom’s three-year sentence, Erica was looked after by her older sister because her father was too caught up in street life and eventually got deported back to the Dominican Republic. When caring for a newborn became too overwhelming for her sister, Erica ended up in foster care, where she faced unimaginable hardships. Even when her mom was released from jail when Erica was five, life didn’t improve for her, as she continued to be mistreated by adults.
In her memoir, Erica writes about her painful past. She says that when she looks in the mirror, she sees someone who is “damaged, hurt, and confused.” She adds, “I see someone who has trouble sleeping at night because the little girl inside of me is still afraid of the dark.” School was tough for Erica, and she was diagnosed with dyslexia, leading her to be placed in special education classes. Despite these challenges, she began modeling at a young age. Winning a J-Lo look-alike contest opened doors for her in modeling and as a video vixen. At just 15, she appeared in her first music video for the Philly hip-hop group The Young Guns. On video sets, she saw other women engaging in questionable activities for money, highlighting just how unsuitable that environment was for someone her age.
Raul decided it was the perfect time to make his move. He told Erica that he was in Miami but would soon fly back to New York to pack a bag before heading to Puerto Rico, and he wanted her to come with him. Erica agreed and told her mom she had to leave for a job opportunity. Raul then whisked her away on a private jet.
Erica admitted that she was never really attracted to Raul, but she appreciated how he treated her. Raul had a troubled relationship with his mom and found stability in the unconditional love Erica gave him. Despite her young age, she took on a nurturing role, providing him with the love and affection she herself had missed out on as a child.
Erica mentioned that Joe was bothered by their relationship because he wasn’t used to seeing Raul so smitten with a girl. In her memoir, she wrote that Fat Joe’s jealousy kept growing because Raul was so focused on her. She speculated that Joe was still upset about how she had turned him down during their first phone call.
Fat Joe supposedly gave Raul a choice: he could either join Terror Squad or stay with Erica. Raul chose Erica, which meant he was cut off financially from Terror Squad opportunities. As the honeymoon phase ended, Raul and Erica struggled to make ends meet, and Raul allegedly became more controlling. In an interview, Erica shared that once she opened up about her past, their relationship took a scary turn. At an event for women who had similar experiences, Erica said Raul became physically abusive. For years, she blamed him for turning her into a “monster.” In her memoir, she wrote that she was used to being disrespected and talked down to, so she initially handled his behavior. But then things escalated, and he would allegedly hit her out of nowhere. As their relationship fell apart, she often wondered if Joe was somewhere laughing at her for choosing Raul over him.
Los Angeles Dreams and New Beginnings: Erica and Raul’s Tumultuous Journey
Erica and Raul moved to Los Angeles, seeking a fresh start. Raul carved out a new identity away from Terror Squad, while Erica’s career flourished with new opportunities. One night, during a night out, Erica had a makeout session with a woman. When Raul saw what was happening, he was furious. He demanded that Erica invite the woman home to fix the situation. This incident marked the beginning of the end for their romantic relationship. Eventually, they both found themselves at the same club, where Erica infamously beat him up. In her memoir, she revealed that she acted in self-defense after he had put his hands on her in the club.
Returning to New York, Erica relied on her family’s support to care for her son. She had a brief fling with Drea before moving on to a relationship with DJ Envy. After years of dating, she discovered he was married and living a double life, leading to the ultimate betrayal. Erica’s love life continued with various industry figures, including Love & Hip-Hop co-stars like Rich Dollaz and Cyn Santana. In 2014, she began dating Bow Wow. They got engaged the same year, with Bow Wow telling People magazine, “I wanted to be a better man than my father was. This relationship has definitely changed me as a person.”
However, their relationship quickly became a subject of internet ridicule. Some claimed Erica was too much for Bow Wow, while others mocked their living arrangement. Bow Wow reportedly purchased an eight-bedroom home in Atlanta, where his mom occupied the top two floors, and he and Erica lived in the basement. He expressed to People magazine that he enjoyed having his mom close, as she was just a few stairs away.
Before their wedding could happen, Bow Wow told HOT97 that he encouraged Erica to quit Love & Hip-Hop because her behavior was impacting the shows he worked on, including CSI. Erica agreed to leave the reality show and focus on their wedding plans. However, like many of her relationships, drama soon followed. Erica frequently clashed with Bow Wow’s daughter’s mother, Joy. On Instagram, Erica accused Joy of being jealous of her engagement, writing, “I had to deal with stalking and late-night texts from her begging him to leave me as we lay in bed together. I prayed for her, little does she know, to finally move on.” This led to significant tension between Erica and Joy. Bow Wow later revealed that Joy didn’t want their daughter around Erica, which forced him to take a stand. He told Vlad TV, “For me, I’m not choosing anything over my baby.”
Erica experienced a miscarriage, and when she shared the news on social media, Bow Wow said he had reached his limit. He claimed it was one of the many reasons he didn’t want to be with her anymore, while Erica blamed their breakup on Bow Wow’s mind games. Erica moved on and started dating Cliff Dixon in 2018, but their relationship was also rocky. In October of that year, both were arrested on domestic charges. Their relationship ended, and tragically, in March 2019, 32-year-old Cliff was killed outside an Atlanta bar. Just two months after her arrest, Erica got engaged to fellow Love & Hip-Hop star Safaree Samuels, raising questions about whether their engagement was a publicity stunt.
They married in October 2019 and welcomed their daughter, Safire, in 2020. In May 2021, while pregnant with their second child, Erica filed for divorce. What followed was a series of accusations. Erica accused Safaree of infidelity, while he accused her of destroying $50,000 worth of his property, including clothing, sneakers, and motorbikes. Erica gave birth to their son, Legend, in June 2021, and it seemed that she and Safaree had reconciled, even spending Halloween together as a family. However, their reconciliation was short-lived. Safaree was seen with Joe Budden’s ex-girlfriend Kailyn Garcia and briefly dated a woman named Kimbella. Their divorce was finalized in September 2022, with Safaree ordered to pay over $4,300 per month in child support.
“All of this financial burden with my children is on me. It’s not fair,” Erica lamented during the November 2022 Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta reunion episode. She shared that after her marriage ended, she had to pull herself out of a very dark place. Erica couldn’t believe how Safaree treated her, especially since he knew everything she had been through. She added, “It’s strange that he knows the traumatic experience of being a single mother once, and then he turns around and makes me a single mother twice.”
It seems Erica is stuck in a cycle of toxicity, but it’s never too late to break free. We hope she is taking steps to end the dysfunction and become the best version of herself for her children’s sake.