In 2023, Shemar became a dad for the first time, but he’s made it clear he’s not ready to be anyone’s husband. It’s like, really? You can step up to be a father, but marriage is too much? This isn’t exactly a new story—we’ve all heard this before, from different people, in different ways.
Shemar opened up about why he feels this way, and it boils down to two main reasons. First, he says he didn’t have a good example of what a healthy marriage looks like growing up. And second, there’s this whole prenup thing that’s been on his mind. He talked about it with his mom before she passed in 2020, and the conversation stuck with him. He asked her:
“Mama, if you say you love me and you’ve got my back, why does that change when things go south? What’s the deal with this prenup stuff?”
It’s a fair question, but it also shows a bit of confusion about what marriage really is and what being a husband actually means. Without getting too deep into the specifics—look up “husbandry” if you’re curious—let’s break it down.
A husband, traditionally, is more than just a partner. He’s a provider, a protector, and the one who holds the household together emotionally, financially, and even spiritually. He’s the foundation, and everything flows from him to his wife and kids. And in turn, the wife takes what she’s given and multiplies it, nurturing the family and creating something even bigger and stronger.
So yeah, being a husband is a big deal, and it’s not something everyone feels ready for, even if they’ve already stepped into parenthood. But maybe it’s time to think about what that responsibility really means, beyond just the fear of things going wrong.
She carries your children and brings life into the world.
She turns a house into a home.
She takes groceries and creates meals filled with love.
But nowadays, many men are talking about marriage being 50/50. And not in the joking way—like splitting rent or bills—but as if marriage is some kind of business partnership. It’s not.
Marriage isn’t 50/50; it’s 100/100.
When a woman marries a man, she’s putting her life in his hands. Her children’s lives are in his hands. That’s how serious it is.
A prenup isn’t about greed—it’s like a modern dowry. It ensures that if the marriage doesn’t work, she and the children will still be taken care of.
Now, if a woman has built a life with you, given you children, and created a home, how is it fair to just walk away? To leave her and those kids without ensuring they’re provided for? That’s not what marriage is. It’s not a contract you can break like a business deal.
Marriage is about trust, loyalty, and deep connection. When a woman commits to a man, it’s not just paperwork—it’s emotional and biological. You can’t just walk away and think it’s over with a signature. That’s where a prenup comes in—to make sure there’s accountability if things fall apart.
And let’s be real for a second. If you’re scared she’ll take “half your money,” just admit it. Say, “I’m afraid of losing what I’ve worked hard for.” That’s an honest fear. But remember, even with a prenup, judges can have the final say.
Now, let me flip the script. If you have a daughter, would you want a man saying the same thing about her? Would you be okay with someone getting her pregnant, refusing to commit, and leaving her to fend for herself?
If your answer is no, it’s time to think about your own actions.
Broken homes don’t just happen—they’re created by choices. And the kids are the ones who pay the price. They watch, they learn, and they carry those lessons into their own lives. Your daughter will look for a man like you. Is that what you want?
And for anyone saying, “Oh, marriage and financial stability are just European ideas,” stop it. Sit down.
The truth is, if you can’t afford to take care of a wife and kids, you shouldn’t be having them. No one’s saying you need millions, but you do need stability. If you’re not ready—emotionally, financially, or otherwise—then don’t create a family that’s going to struggle.
It’s that simple. Be better, not bitter.
Alright, ladies, listen up: Don’t have kids with a man who refuses to commit to you.
This is why we always say that children should be brought into a stable marriage—so that you have the legal and financial protections that come with it.
Child support sounds nice, but let’s be honest: it’s not a guarantee. And even if you get it, it’s not always enough, especially when the father’s paycheck is coming from places like AutoZone, Burger King, or Chick-fil-A.
So here’s the reality—if you can’t afford it, don’t do it.
Don’t think having his baby is going to magically make him commit to you. Let him prove it first. Let him marry you, show he’s ready to commit, and most importantly, show he can financially provide for a family.
If you’re not seeing that commitment, then don’t get married. And don’t have kids. Simple as that.
Say it with me, besties: “There is a price for progeny.”
And as Ciara would say, “Broke boys don’t deserve no children.” And you know she’s right.
Now, let’s talk about Shemar Moore for a minute. He may not be broke, but his mindset seems a little off. If you truly love a woman—her kids from a previous relationship, and the child you share together—you should want to give her everything you’ve got, plus more.
What happens if you pass away, Shemar? What’s your plan for her and your child if you’re no longer around? Have you made her the beneficiary of any life insurance policies? Have you set up something to make sure your daughter is taken care of?
If you’ve already done that, then what’s the hold-up? Go ahead and get married. A prenup is just a way to protect both of you while you’re in the marriage.
Whew, I’m exhausted just thinking about this. Let me step off my soapbox and hear what y’all think down in the comments, because this is a mess. I’m off to make my Black Friday snack list. Catch y’all later. Bye!